Embracing Your Challenges and Goals, Even at Gunpoint
J.P. Montalvan • January 21, 2024
"Life is different every single day and you need to find the path that works for you.”
-- Amy Nelson, Entrepreneur
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Embracing Your Challenges and Goals, Even at Gunpoint
Amy didn’t have the luxury to quit. The FBI had seized almost $900,000 in her and her husband’s assets, and she and her family of five had to survive.
The beginning of the year often marks a time for resolutions and setting new goals, but we recently passed what's known as Quitter's Day, where many abandon their aspirations. Strava's research revealed that by the second Friday in January, around 80% of people have already veered off course from their New Year's resolutions.
Have you ever found yourself hesitant to set goals, perhaps because the journey seemed too hard or lacked joy? It's a common struggle. Goals can feel like burdens when they're perceived as too challenging or without happiness. But consider this: if you don't set goals, how do you propel yourself forward?
Setting and achieving goals is an integral part of our daily lives, from the moment we wake up to the tasks we accomplish.
Amy Nelson, CEO of The Riveter, knows something about that as she was simultaneously running her start-up, a coworking spaces company focused on women, and raising her 4 children with her husband.
In April 2020, the FBI arrived at Amy’s residence in Seattle, armed and bearing news that her husband was the subject of a federal criminal investigation involving Amazon. In the aftermath, the FBI confiscated all their savings, forcing the couple to take drastic measures. To fund their legal defense, they liquidated their 401(k)s and sold both their house and Range Rover. Some of her angels and investors left her after the allegations became public. “But you know what?" she shared in an article in Entrepreneur,
punctuating her statement with a determined shrug. "That's their loss. Because I'm a builder. I'm a creator. And I'm going to persist in this. Despite everything."
Now, Amy’s company is an app and platform where members can work in luxury hotels, boasting a vibrant membership. Having weathered rock bottom, she's becoming accustomed to challenges and has adapted. What is her most significant breakthrough?
Each morning, Amy compiles a list of just three to five tasks that must be accomplished.
Amy's story illustrates that even what may seem like basic life needs and tasks are, in fact, goals. And as a leader, setting goals not only propels you but influences your teams to do the same.
As you keep heading into the new year, consider looking at your tasks and making sure that they align with these "3 Quick Questions for Your Goals"
:
- Are my/our tasks and goals the right size?
- Are the tasks and goals linked to your/our strongest desires?
- Will the tasks and goals bring you/us more happiness and joy?
Vague expressions like "I'm hoping" and "I'm trying" lack specificity and won’t lead to success. During a recent team retreat, James shared a powerful realization — he left the retreat more connected with his goals than ever before. By dispelling dread and focusing on what he genuinely wanted, he found clarity, support, and the desire to take meaningful action, with the first set of action steps to match. Just like Amy did.
I encourage you to set or reset your goals, evaluating them against these quick questions. A resounding "yes" to these questions means that your goals are not only achievable but deeply meaningful. They promise growth, making your life and leadership journey immensely fulfilling. That’s the road to happiness – a life worth living.
Here's to you, a life worth living and a team worth leading.

As a leadership coach, I get to work with a diverse range of entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs – quite a few real estate agents, fitness professionals, mortgage lenders, government contractors and others. Come April, it's like clockwork – we all start realizing how easy it is to lose sight of our yearly goals by the end of the first quarter. Life gets busy, we get caught up in the whirlwind of reactivity, and suddenly, those big dreams we had at the start of the year feel miles away.

As most of you know, tragedy struck on what would have otherwise been an ordinary night earlier this week in the heart of Baltimore. The Francis Scott Key Bridge, an iconic structure that spanned the Patapsco River, became the focal point of a devastating disaster that has shaken Baltimore and the region to its core. As I think about the events of that night, there’s a lot to unpack, from preparedness and the “why” behind a crisis to quick thinking and the human capacity for heroism in the face of adversity.

Happy Hump Day!
I don’t usually reach out to you on Wednesdays, and I wanted to share that Wednesday isn't just any ol' day – it's the linchpin of your week. Why?
As I’m sharing with my Leadership Circle this quarter, Wednesday isn't just the midpoint of the typical work week calendar. It's a golden opportunity for us to hit pause, reassess, and realign ourselves with what really matters – our weekly priorities.

Edwin was born in the small town of Steubenville, Ohio. His education started in Miss Randle’s kindergarten and was followed by Henry Orr’s seminary around the block. At 10, he entered George Buchanan’s nearby Latin school where he was called “an imperious and self-reliant young man.”
Edwin’s lifelong struggle with asthma might have contributed to his temper, but so could have the early death of his father and the deaths of his brother and two children.
And on the eve of achieving his life’s dream — nomination to the Supreme Court — Edwin Stanton’s chronic asthma caused his death in 1869.

As I sit here late at night in my parent’s family room, a few hours away from our home, thinking about you, it dawns on me that we’re often wrapped up with how leadership impacts us in the work world. But the reality is that it permeates every part of our lives – and especially our relationships with family and friends.
This weekend, the conversations with my parents are covering a myriad of topics, from advice on navigating parenthood with our newborn daughter to discussing strategies for managing their health.

Recently, Veronica and I took a trip to the beautiful Virginia countryside around Flint Hill, Virginia. As we took in the breathtaking, winter scenery of rolling hills, horses, cattle and more, we decided to stop for lunch at the inviting Dark Horse Irish Pub. Little did we know that our dining experience would include both delicious food and the unexpected wisdom of a heartfelt connection.
Upon entering the cozy pub, we were greeted incredibly warmly. Our waiter was a young man who attended to us graciously through our meal, and when he had to leave was replaced by an older waiter. The older waiter had a twinkle in his eye, as they say, and he immediately struck a chord with us. As our main meal switched to delicious desserts, he engaged us in some lively conversation and took a genuine interest in our newborn daughter in the stroller by our table. His genuine care and enthusiasm was really something.

In the challenging world of Hollywood, with a sea of scripts and opportunities, Reese knew what she wanted. Despite some early success and the offers of darker and more intense roles, she was drawn towards “optimistic” storylines that inspired and uplifted. She wanted to make a meaningful impact on her audience, especially girls and young women.
“I got a role in this movie called Freeway playing this really angry, aggressive, violent young woman who believed wholeheartedly in the truth,” Reese shared. “I had such satisfaction afterward, and I thought, that's what I want to do.”

Closing the Gap: Kareem’s Legacy and Your “Big 3” to Success
In the fast-paced world we live in, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily tasks and lose sight of our priorities. If you’re anything like me, it happens when we think about the gaps between where we are and where we want to go, in business or in our personal lives.
Kareem dedicates much of his time now to empowering marginalized communities, reflected in his book "Writings on the Wall: Searching for a New Equality Beyond Black and White." He was asked once about his ability to prioritize amidst the glitz of a storied career.

Getting picked last isn't great. Brock would know…
As February rolls in, it's time for a reality check on our goals. How often have you lost sight of your aspirations by now, slipping from proactive to reactive mode? I know I have in the past. How do we stay focused in the chaos of a competitive, hyperconnected world? That's a heck of a ball game.
And when we lose sight of our goals – our big goals – we are picking ourselves last.