Declare your independence. Save yourself.
J.P. Montalvan • July 5, 2023
"You cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. No one can complete you. You complete yourself."
-- Oprah Winfrey
photo courtesy of Lakshmiprasad S
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Change is coming. Change always has been coming and change always will be coming. From the Supreme Court’s recent decision on affirmative action to today’s celebration of Independence Day, what we’re facing in the world is always changing. Whether we’re talking about our Founding Fathers and what they faced or what we face today, I keep coming back to one thought.
You’re the only one that can save you.
The Founding Fathers didn't sit around, hoping that a hero would emerge to free them from British rule. No, they took matters into their own hands. They stood up, fought for their rights, and declared their independence. They understood that no one else would secure their freedom except themselves.
Affirmative action, designed to address historical disadvantages and promote diversity, has sparked debates and passion across the country. It’s a complex issue, as we strive to balance the ideas of meritocracy with the principles of correcting historical injustices. Some of these injustices date back to the very Founder Fathers themselves – like with the “Three-Fifths Compromise” reached among state delegates during the 1787 Constitutional Convention. It decided that three out of every five slaves would be counted when determining a state's total population for representation and taxation.
I was first asked my opinion “as a Latino” by a colleague of mine, Kent, about affirmative action a while ago. I shared with him that life isn’t fair, but that I thought everyone deserved a fair shake. The problem is that I don’t really know how we give everyone a fair shake. I don’t see that the swings of government can design our society to give everyone a fair shake. Which leads me to the same place…
You’re the only one that can save you.
In that spirit, this month my Leadership Circle and I are focused this month on 4 concepts around how we save ourselves…
Rise Above the False Savior Story.
We’re all susceptible to the illusion that someone else holds the key to our success. We can't rely on external forces for salvation or wait for a hero to sweep in and fix everything for us. Whether it is waiting for a political leader, a supernatural entity, or advanced technology, the reality remains the same: we are the architects of our own destinies. The only person who can change our lives is ourselves. When we understand that we're in control, we free ourselves from the chains of dependency and take ownership of our destinies.
Ignite Your Inner Power.
Deep down, we all have incredible power within us. We possess unique talents, skills, and strengths that can shape our lives and make a difference in the world. Instead of succumbing to helplessness or waiting for someone else to act, we must harness our inner power and take proactive steps towards our goals.
Tap Into the Power of Your Who.
I'm a big believer in the power of collaboration. While we must recognize our individual abilities, we can achieve so much more when we come together as a community. While we have to save ourselves, no one can succeed alone. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who support and uplift one another. Together, we can accomplish great things, tackle challenges head-on, and create a positive impact that reverberates far beyond our own lives. By collaborating, sharing knowledge and resources, and empowering one another, we multiply our chances of achieving greatness.
Embrace a Culture of Resilience.
Life is full of ups and downs. It's how we respond to adversity that truly defines us. Rather than relying on the government, the Supreme Court, and external forces to save us from hardships, let's embrace resilience. When we develop the mindset to overcome obstacles, learn from failures, and adapt to change, we become unstoppable forces of nature. And success often comes after multiple failures — it's all about the bounce-back.
As we celebrate this special day, July 4th, I encourage you to take a moment and reflect on the significance it holds in our journey to save ourselves. On this day, we commemorate the spirit of independence and freedom — a reminder that we have the power to shape our own destinies.
Declare your independence from the limitations you see placed on yourself. Create the future you want.
Gad was 10 years old when he saw people going door to door, hauling out his neighbors, shooting them and burning down their homes.
Stephen was 7 years old when he was separated from his family, only to find out later that most of his family was murdered.
As a leadership coach, I get to work with a diverse range of entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs – quite a few real estate agents, fitness professionals, mortgage lenders, government contractors and others. Come April, it's like clockwork – we all start realizing how easy it is to lose sight of our yearly goals by the end of the first quarter. Life gets busy, we get caught up in the whirlwind of reactivity, and suddenly, those big dreams we had at the start of the year feel miles away.
As most of you know, tragedy struck on what would have otherwise been an ordinary night earlier this week in the heart of Baltimore. The Francis Scott Key Bridge, an iconic structure that spanned the Patapsco River, became the focal point of a devastating disaster that has shaken Baltimore and the region to its core. As I think about the events of that night, there’s a lot to unpack, from preparedness and the “why” behind a crisis to quick thinking and the human capacity for heroism in the face of adversity.
Happy Hump Day!
I don’t usually reach out to you on Wednesdays, and I wanted to share that Wednesday isn't just any ol' day – it's the linchpin of your week. Why?
As I’m sharing with my Leadership Circle this quarter, Wednesday isn't just the midpoint of the typical work week calendar. It's a golden opportunity for us to hit pause, reassess, and realign ourselves with what really matters – our weekly priorities.
Edwin was born in the small town of Steubenville, Ohio. His education started in Miss Randle’s kindergarten and was followed by Henry Orr’s seminary around the block. At 10, he entered George Buchanan’s nearby Latin school where he was called “an imperious and self-reliant young man.”
Edwin’s lifelong struggle with asthma might have contributed to his temper, but so could have the early death of his father and the deaths of his brother and two children.
And on the eve of achieving his life’s dream — nomination to the Supreme Court — Edwin Stanton’s chronic asthma caused his death in 1869.
As I sit here late at night in my parent’s family room, a few hours away from our home, thinking about you, it dawns on me that we’re often wrapped up with how leadership impacts us in the work world. But the reality is that it permeates every part of our lives – and especially our relationships with family and friends.
This weekend, the conversations with my parents are covering a myriad of topics, from advice on navigating parenthood with our newborn daughter to discussing strategies for managing their health.
Recently, Veronica and I took a trip to the beautiful Virginia countryside around Flint Hill, Virginia. As we took in the breathtaking, winter scenery of rolling hills, horses, cattle and more, we decided to stop for lunch at the inviting Dark Horse Irish Pub. Little did we know that our dining experience would include both delicious food and the unexpected wisdom of a heartfelt connection.
Upon entering the cozy pub, we were greeted incredibly warmly. Our waiter was a young man who attended to us graciously through our meal, and when he had to leave was replaced by an older waiter. The older waiter had a twinkle in his eye, as they say, and he immediately struck a chord with us. As our main meal switched to delicious desserts, he engaged us in some lively conversation and took a genuine interest in our newborn daughter in the stroller by our table. His genuine care and enthusiasm was really something.
In the challenging world of Hollywood, with a sea of scripts and opportunities, Reese knew what she wanted. Despite some early success and the offers of darker and more intense roles, she was drawn towards “optimistic” storylines that inspired and uplifted. She wanted to make a meaningful impact on her audience, especially girls and young women.
“I got a role in this movie called Freeway playing this really angry, aggressive, violent young woman who believed wholeheartedly in the truth,” Reese shared. “I had such satisfaction afterward, and I thought, that's what I want to do.”
Closing the Gap: Kareem’s Legacy and Your “Big 3” to Success
In the fast-paced world we live in, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily tasks and lose sight of our priorities. If you’re anything like me, it happens when we think about the gaps between where we are and where we want to go, in business or in our personal lives.
Kareem dedicates much of his time now to empowering marginalized communities, reflected in his book "Writings on the Wall: Searching for a New Equality Beyond Black and White." He was asked once about his ability to prioritize amidst the glitz of a storied career.
Getting picked last isn't great. Brock would know…
As February rolls in, it's time for a reality check on our goals. How often have you lost sight of your aspirations by now, slipping from proactive to reactive mode? I know I have in the past. How do we stay focused in the chaos of a competitive, hyperconnected world? That's a heck of a ball game.
And when we lose sight of our goals – our big goals – we are picking ourselves last.